Things your monsters should be saying to the players

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Things your monsters should be saying to the players

Post by CharlieRock »

I'm gonna hurt you so bad your last two characters are going to scream in pain.

They're gonna have to staple another page to your character sheet to record all the damage I'm about to do to you.

I'm so bad, they had to make a new alignment for me. True Badass.

The gods played a cruel joke on you when they gave you the face of a troll but skimped on the regen.

Was Pitiful a class ability, or did you pick that one from a list.

I'm so bad, your initiative apologized to mine for coming up next to it.

When I'm through with you, your gonna beg for a save or die.

Your so weak, your Strength check bounced.

Half-elf/orc? You must be a total moron to try and fight me.

I hope you got a lot of points back for those lame expressions. (GURPS)

You might as well start penciling in my boot on your Character Description line.

Your so weak, your PlateMail says "Made by Mattel".

Better try a Diplomacy check on the dirt, because thats all your gonna see after I hit ya.

I'll Hold Action if you want to just kiss it good-bye now.

Are you the Paladin or the Mount, cause you look like a jackass.

Is that your Bard song, or is somebody torturing Britney Spears?

I heard Knights wear Plate Mail to cover that yellow stripe down their back.

You look like an ogre, but hit like a gnome.

Your Character Portrait is going to be a tombstone when I get done.

I've got a bag of holding type IV of whoopass I'm gonna dump all over ya.

I heard your poppa made your momma wear a full helm when they went out in public.

When I get done with you, there won't be enough to loot.

I'm so bad, I had to bail my stats out of jail.

Either you have the yellowest teeth I've ever seen, or I'm about to go up a treasure type.

*this is what happens when you let your CK watch too much rasslin on TV*
The Rock says ...

Know your roll!

Posts: 548
Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:00 am

Post by Arazmus »

You may need help. But it is funny...not sure if it's funny haha or funny Hmmmm?
I'll tell you what I do like though: a killer, a dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. ~Zorg

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