Troll Lord Games

I was just thinking of some of my favorite gaming one liners. As a player, or as a CK, to add fun, strike fear, make them stop and think, or just plain because they sound so darn cool sometimes. I don't care where the ideas come from, or from whom, but would you all like to add to a list? Might make for good quotable insertions into Domesday.

1) What the CK giveth, the CK taketh away. J. Little
2) I did say there was nothing around the corner, an illusion covered 20' deep spiked pit is technically nothing to your character looking around the corner. B. Winter
3) Hey, Sometimes the Dragon wins.
4) There's dead, and then theirs Dead.
5) I'm sorry was I smiling when I said that?
6) Arawan is my master. Through death he gave me life. You don't need to pray to him or even acknowledge him, but when you meet him, wouldn't you like him to know you? Raven
7) Remember, a pat on the back by the back from the CK is just 23" from a kick in the pants.
8) Yes, you can roll your swim check, even in full plate mail. If you roll high enough, you will swim very well on the bottom of the lake, but I suggest you switch to running at that point. Capt_K
9) Yes, You can try anything. But possible and likely are on opposite faces of the coin.

One of my favorites, "Ewwww, that's gonna hurt."

R-

Are you sure you want to do that?

You are really going to split the party and explore both passages?

There doesn't appear to be any traps...

Really?!....*BIG OL' EEEEVIL GRIN*

Oh. You really shouldn't have done that.

I am gonna need more dice....

Now we're cooking. Those are some great ones.. if we only had a cartoonist to make some images with those classic lines.

I was playing in Frank Mentzer's home game once and the party was exploring an island looking for an artifact. We got into some pretty dense vegetation and decided to start hacking our way through. Frank pointed out this would be the first hostile action the party took toward anything on the island. We all freaked and said, "No no no no. We're not doing that!" He made all of us his bitches with one sentence. it was masterful to watch even as I was totally sucked in myself.

Buttmonkey wrote:I was playing in Frank Mentzer's home game once and the party was exploring an island looking for an artifact. We got into some pretty dense vegetation and decided to start hacking our way through. Frank pointed out this would be the first hostile action the party took toward anything on the island. We all freaked and said, "No no no no. We're not doing that!" He made all of us his bitches with one sentence. it was masterful to watch even as I was totally sucked in myself.

That's epic!

"Well, he should have had more hit points."
"If he was here to help, he'll still be alive, otherwise we killed a bad guy"
"The two guys driving the wagon, do they have Red Shirts on?"

Roll for initiative.

Make a saving throw...

Really?

OK... it reaches for a wand and...

There was no treasure.

When a player complains about something being difficult, I’m fond of replying that “The game is called Dungeons and Dragons, not Dungeons and Handouts.”

Me: "You guys are in for a fun time tonight!"

Players: "WE WANT TO LIVE!!!"

Here are a few of my favs:

To players complaining about difficulty:

"That's why they call it adventuring"

or

"If anyone could do it they wouldn't need adventurers."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" *shake your head and look down*

"Of course you can try it..." *doubtful look*

Now let me repeat what I think I heard you say, "...."

That's unfortunate....

He chose....poorly

or alternately,

You have chosen...wisely.

Straight from Indiana Jones, but very useful when Rogues fail their Traps check.

Um, no. Aside from the snakes as hair, the medusa is not hot...

The pack of hellhounds surrounding you suddenly pause, ears perk high as they look behind them...then with an almost uniform yelp, they flee past you at a flat out run.

Buttmonkey wrote:I was playing in Frank Mentzer's home game once and the party was exploring an island looking for an artifact. We got into some pretty dense vegetation and decided to start hacking our way through. Frank pointed out this would be the first hostile action the party took toward anything on the island. We all freaked and said, "No no no no. We're not doing that!" He made all of us his bitches with one sentence. it was masterful to watch even as I was totally sucked in myself.

That is epic!

I had a dm that did that kind of stuff all the time ... it was a blast ! It is amazing how you can mess with players by making a random statement of fact like that ...

maximus wrote:Um, no. Aside from the snakes as hair, the medusa is not hot...

rolling my eyes .... yes I've had players like that (and not 16 year old puberty addled ones - full grown in their 20 - 30s )

Willy Rat wrote:He chose....poorly

or alternately,

You have chosen...wisely.

Straight from Indiana Jones, but very useful when Rogues fail their Traps check.

If I had a stock one liner, that is it ... it fits so well and in so many times.

Captain_K wrote:Now let me repeat what I think I heard you say, "...."

That one too. Heck, I use it in real life ....

I'm hoping some of these things will end up in the margins or in chapter starts in Domesday.. remember Mad Magazine with the little cartoons in the margins... snappy quotes and one liners hidden in the Domesday. Could be fun I think. I just wish a cartoonist would step forward.