Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

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Captain_K
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Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Captain_K »

I was just thinking of some of my favorite gaming one liners. As a player, or as a CK, to add fun, strike fear, make them stop and think, or just plain because they sound so darn cool sometimes. I don't care where the ideas come from, or from whom, but would you all like to add to a list? Might make for good quotable insertions into Domesday.

1) What the CK giveth, the CK taketh away. J. Little
2) I did say there was nothing around the corner, an illusion covered 20' deep spiked pit is technically nothing to your character looking around the corner. B. Winter
3) Hey, Sometimes the Dragon wins.
4) There's dead, and then theirs Dead.
5) I'm sorry was I smiling when I said that?
6) Arawan is my master. Through death he gave me life. You don't need to pray to him or even acknowledge him, but when you meet him, wouldn't you like him to know you? Raven
7) Remember, a pat on the back by the back from the CK is just 23" from a kick in the pants.
8) Yes, you can roll your swim check, even in full plate mail. If you roll high enough, you will swim very well on the bottom of the lake, but I suggest you switch to running at that point. Capt_K
9) Yes, You can try anything. But possible and likely are on opposite faces of the coin.
Wow, Another Natural One! You guys are a sink hole for luck. Stay away from my dice.

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Rigon
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Rigon »

One of my favorites, "Ewwww, that's gonna hurt."

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Buttmonkey
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Buttmonkey »

Are you sure you want to do that?
tylermo wrote:Your efforts are greatly appreciated, Buttmonkey. Can't believe I said that with a straight face.

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Go0gleplex
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Go0gleplex »

You are really going to split the party and explore both passages?

There doesn't appear to be any traps...

Really?!....*BIG OL' EEEEVIL GRIN*

Oh. You really shouldn't have done that. :twisted:
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Dead Horse
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Dead Horse »

I am gonna need more dice....
Please don't beat me.
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Captain_K
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Captain_K »

Now we're cooking. Those are some great ones.. if we only had a cartoonist to make some images with those classic lines.
Wow, Another Natural One! You guys are a sink hole for luck. Stay away from my dice.

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Buttmonkey
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Buttmonkey »

I was playing in Frank Mentzer's home game once and the party was exploring an island looking for an artifact. We got into some pretty dense vegetation and decided to start hacking our way through. Frank pointed out this would be the first hostile action the party took toward anything on the island. We all freaked and said, "No no no no. We're not doing that!" He made all of us his bitches with one sentence. it was masterful to watch even as I was totally sucked in myself.
tylermo wrote:Your efforts are greatly appreciated, Buttmonkey. Can't believe I said that with a straight face.

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T1Hound
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by T1Hound »

Buttmonkey wrote:I was playing in Frank Mentzer's home game once and the party was exploring an island looking for an artifact. We got into some pretty dense vegetation and decided to start hacking our way through. Frank pointed out this would be the first hostile action the party took toward anything on the island. We all freaked and said, "No no no no. We're not doing that!" He made all of us his bitches with one sentence. it was masterful to watch even as I was totally sucked in myself.
That's epic!

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T1Hound
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by T1Hound »

"Well, he should have had more hit points."
"If he was here to help, he'll still be alive, otherwise we killed a bad guy"
"The two guys driving the wagon, do they have Red Shirts on?"

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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by serleran »

Roll for initiative.

Make a saving throw...

Really?

OK... it reaches for a wand and...

There was no treasure.

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Jyrdan Fairblade
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Jyrdan Fairblade »

When a player complains about something being difficult, I’m fond of replying that “The game is called Dungeons and Dragons, not Dungeons and Handouts.”

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Go0gleplex
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Go0gleplex »

Me: "You guys are in for a fun time tonight!" :D

Players: "WE WANT TO LIVE!!!"
"Rolling dice and killing characters since September 1976."
"Author of Wardogs! and Contributor to Iron Stars and Starmada-Admiralty ed."
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captcorajus
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by captcorajus »

Here are a few of my favs:

To players complaining about difficulty:

"That's why they call it adventuring"

or

"If anyone could do it they wouldn't need adventurers."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" *shake your head and look down*

"Of course you can try it..." *doubtful look*

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Captain_K
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Captain_K »

Now let me repeat what I think I heard you say, "...."
Wow, Another Natural One! You guys are a sink hole for luck. Stay away from my dice.

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JohnD
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by JohnD »

That's unfortunate....

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Willy Rat
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Willy Rat »

He chose....poorly

or alternately,

You have chosen...wisely.

Straight from Indiana Jones, but very useful when Rogues fail their Traps check.
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maximus
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by maximus »

Um, no. Aside from the snakes as hair, the medusa is not hot...

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Go0gleplex
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Go0gleplex »

The pack of hellhounds surrounding you suddenly pause, ears perk high as they look behind them...then with an almost uniform yelp, they flee past you at a flat out run.
"Rolling dice and killing characters since September 1976."
"Author of Wardogs! and Contributor to Iron Stars and Starmada-Admiralty ed."
"Certified crazy since 2009."

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Lurker
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Lurker »

Buttmonkey wrote:I was playing in Frank Mentzer's home game once and the party was exploring an island looking for an artifact. We got into some pretty dense vegetation and decided to start hacking our way through. Frank pointed out this would be the first hostile action the party took toward anything on the island. We all freaked and said, "No no no no. We're not doing that!" He made all of us his bitches with one sentence. it was masterful to watch even as I was totally sucked in myself.

That is epic!

I had a dm that did that kind of stuff all the time ... it was a blast ! It is amazing how you can mess with players by making a random statement of fact like that ...
maximus wrote:Um, no. Aside from the snakes as hair, the medusa is not hot...
rolling my eyes .... yes I've had players like that (and not 16 year old puberty addled ones - full grown in their 20 - 30s )
Willy Rat wrote:He chose....poorly

or alternately,

You have chosen...wisely.

Straight from Indiana Jones, but very useful when Rogues fail their Traps check.
If I had a stock one liner, that is it ... it fits so well and in so many times.
Captain_K wrote:Now let me repeat what I think I heard you say, "...."
That one too. Heck, I use it in real life ....
"And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows!" - Mark Twain

Forgive all spelling errors.

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Captain_K
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Re: Snappy CKer One Liners Needed

Post by Captain_K »

I'm hoping some of these things will end up in the margins or in chapter starts in Domesday.. remember Mad Magazine with the little cartoons in the margins... snappy quotes and one liners hidden in the Domesday. Could be fun I think. I just wish a cartoonist would step forward.
Wow, Another Natural One! You guys are a sink hole for luck. Stay away from my dice.

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