I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

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Tadhg
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I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

I took 2 DNA tests and the results showed no Jewish ancestry. So my father is not my father (doncha hate when that happens). And since my online name is/was Rhuvein (a variation of Reuven) my Hebrew name at birth - that I tried to get on AOL at the beginning, but couldn't get unless you wanted some numbers after - hmm, twas 2, 3 or 4).

Real father is/was Irish/Brit/Scot. I've reached out to friends and fam, but they're all mostly dead (mom and man who married my mom and my real father).

So, who the fuck am I? Prolly never know.

I had thought that my mother held this secret for a noble cause to mebbe hide this from my "father" and keep the family together, but it turns out he knew the secret.

This means that my mother deprived me from knowing my real father, a crime. If my real father knew of me and didn't reach out, that's terrible of course. But if he didn't know of me, then my mother committed a second crime - depriving a father of knowing his son.

I will change my online name soon.

Thanks for listening,

No longer Rhu.
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

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mgtremaine
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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by mgtremaine »

That's kind of a mind f*8k, my sympathy for the drama. I get your reaction to change your handle, hopefully you find one that fits (because of course Rhuvein was/is pretty damn good.)

-Mike

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Lurker »

Ok I would disagree.

A FATHER is not the random genetic donor, it is the person that cared for you raised you taught you passed faith to you.

Not knowing who the genetic donor is only means you do not have full disclosure on what health risks you may have from genetic issues. But other than that you are who you are and have been from the time you received your Jewish Birth name and have grown in your father's house.
"And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows!" - Mark Twain

Forgive all spelling errors.

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Grandpa »

I can only say that you were fortunate to have two parents raise you in a 1st world setting.

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

mgtremaine wrote:
Tue Mar 02, 2021 3:29 pm
That's kind of a mind f*8k, my sympathy for the drama. I get your reaction to change your handle, hopefully you find one that fits (because of course Rhuvein was/is pretty damn good.)

-Mike
Thanks!

I'm thinking of all my C&C char names when I played gnomes and halflings . . . they all seemed to be Irish/Scot ~ Seamus, Ferghus, Cormac et.al. Hmm, I'll have to go find my old sheets to help me decide.

:-D
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

Lurker wrote:
Tue Mar 02, 2021 5:09 pm
Ok I would disagree.

A FATHER is not the random genetic donor, it is the person that cared for you raised you taught you passed faith to you.

Not knowing who the genetic donor is only means you do not have full disclosure on what health risks you may have from genetic issues. But other than that you are who you are and have been from the time you received your Jewish Birth name and have grown in your father's house.
Thanks for your comments, but NO - my mother's husband didn't really do much to raise me. He wasn't there for me (or my bros and sis, for that matter).

You're way off about a "genetic donor" - that's not the way to address my situation (read my post again). It's about losing half of a life with someone, who might have contributed to my world and knowledge of who I am and where I come from (even if I learned about this at a later age). Not knowing creates an incredible void and a feeling of something lost that can never be learned or regained.
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

Grandpa wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 12:30 am
I can only say that you were fortunate to have two parents raise you in a 1st world setting.
Everyday, children in “1st world countries” are abused, beaten, neglected, threatened, starved, locked up, killed, and/or ignored among many other horrors! Not so fortunate, eh?

For me, my parents were sort of there, but they didn’t really raise me. I raised myself from about 8 years old. My mother showed me how to do laundry, iron and cook and left me to get on, while she concentrated on my younger sibs.
So in that regard, I’m fortunate compared to the kids above. However, I don’t consider myself fortunate for not knowing who my father is and losing something that is precious to most kids, maybe not you.

:roll:
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

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"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

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Rhuvein wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:04 am
Lurker wrote:
Tue Mar 02, 2021 5:09 pm
Ok I would disagree.

A FATHER is not the random genetic donor, it is the person that cared for you raised you taught you passed faith to you.

Not knowing who the genetic donor is only means you do not have full disclosure on what health risks you may have from genetic issues. But other than that you are who you are and have been from the time you received your Jewish Birth name and have grown in your father's house.
Thanks for your comments, but NO - my mother's husband didn't really do much to raise me. He wasn't there for me (or my bros and sis, for that matter).

You're way off about a "genetic donor" - that's not the way to address my situation (read my post again). It's about losing half of a life with someone, who might have contributed to my world and knowledge of who I am and where I come from (even if I learned about this at a later age). Not knowing creates an incredible void and a feeling of something lost that can never be learned or regained.
Then I apologize. I assumed that since you had taken your Hebrew birth name as your handle, you were close to him and he influenced your growth.
"And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows!" - Mark Twain

Forgive all spelling errors.

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Grandpa »

Rhuvein wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:36 am

Everyday, children in “1st world countries” are abused, beaten, neglected, threatened, starved, locked up, killed, and/or ignored among many other horrors! Not so fortunate, eh?
Unless this applies to you it is completely irrelevant to my response to YOU about YOUR life. But DO seek professional help quickly!

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

Lurker wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 3:27 am
Rhuvein wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:04 am
Lurker wrote:
Tue Mar 02, 2021 5:09 pm
Ok I would disagree.

A FATHER is not the random genetic donor, it is the person that cared for you raised you taught you passed faith to you.

Not knowing who the genetic donor is only means you do not have full disclosure on what health risks you may have from genetic issues. But other than that you are who you are and have been from the time you received your Jewish Birth name and have grown in your father's house.
Thanks for your comments, but NO - my mother's husband didn't really do much to raise me. He wasn't there for me (or my bros and sis, for that matter).

You're way off about a "genetic donor" - that's not the way to address my situation (read my post again). It's about losing half of a life with someone, who might have contributed to my world and knowledge of who I am and where I come from (even if I learned about this at a later age). Not knowing creates an incredible void and a feeling of something lost that can never be learned or regained.
Then I apologize. I assumed that since you had taken your Hebrew birth name as your handle, you were close to him and he influenced your growth.
Thanks. We were not close.
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

Grandpa wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:18 pm
Rhuvein wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:36 am

Everyday, children in “1st world countries” are abused, beaten, neglected, threatened, starved, locked up, killed, and/or ignored among many other horrors! Not so fortunate, eh?
Unless this applies to you it is completely irrelevant to my response to YOU about YOUR life. But DO seek professional help quickly!
Here is a relevant response, your trolling comments are not welcome!
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by mgtremaine »

Rhu see you can delete message in your Inbox now... -Mike

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

mgtremaine wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 11:15 pm
Rhu see you can delete message in your Inbox now... -Mike
Yes!

Thanks, Mike.

:-D
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by mgtremaine »

By the power of greyskull! sizzle, pop, poof. ;p

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

mgtremaine wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 11:45 pm
By the power of greyskull! sizzle, pop, poof. ;p
Well done!

Many thanks.

8-)
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by serleran »

Sorry to hear the you you were is not the Rhu you should of been, but the positive thing, if such exists, is Rhu can be the you you always wanted without handles, bars, and bans.

Maybe you can enjoy the becoming and not look at it like an undoing. I mean, even a TPK gives a sliver of silver, no?

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

serleran wrote:
Thu Mar 04, 2021 1:15 am
Sorry to hear the you you were is not the Rhu you should of been, but the positive thing, if such exists, is Rhu can be the you you always wanted without handles, bars, and bans.

Maybe you can enjoy the becoming and not look at it like an undoing. I mean, even a TPK gives a sliver of silver, no?
LOL!

Have you been drinking some of the Tellamore Dew or Jameson's cousin?

I have!

I've been celebrating St. Patrick's Day all me life with my Irish grammar school friends. And in two weeks, I'll be celebrating knowing that I'm an Irishman!

I'm Tadhg (Tige) now, but all are welcome to continue to call me Rhu!

:D
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by serleran »

Sláinte!

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Buttmonkey »

That's a rough revelation. Hope you're rolling with it well.
tylermo wrote:Your efforts are greatly appreciated, Buttmonkey. Can't believe I said that with a straight face.

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

Buttmonkey wrote:
Sat Mar 06, 2021 8:14 pm
That's a rough revelation. Hope you're rolling with it well.
Thanks, BM!

I met this excellent fellow at GaryCON 1!

Yeah, this revelation has been . . real, surreal and then unreal ~ and now I have to learn how to reel!

Hope all is well is your world, D.

Looking forward to gaming with you again.

Rhu. Who? Tadhg (Tige).

:-D
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

serleran wrote:
Thu Mar 04, 2021 5:17 pm
Sláinte!
:-D

Right, we have planed to retire in the Adirondacks, but with this covid - not sure yet.

Hopefully, we will and can stop by to meet youse in Buffalo or nearby on the way.

We have many things to discust! ;-D

Twould be great to game with ya, I'm sure I would be amazed at your gaming style and I think I would amaze you with the way I run C&C (thanks, Gary).

Peace Frog,

Rhu. :-D
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"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Julian Grimm »

Sorry to hear all this Rhu...errr...Tadhg. If you need to talk you can message whenever you want.
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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

Julian Grimm wrote:
Wed Apr 07, 2021 10:38 pm
Sorry to hear all this Rhu...errr...Tadhg. If you need to talk you can message whenever you want.
Thanks, JG.
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

"Enjoy a 'world' where the fantastic is fact and magic really works!" ~ Gary Gygax

"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Bifford »

Hey Tadhg.

That is, indeed, a rough revelation.

I can understand some of the reactions here - to a lot of people the biological makeup of your DNA, and who it comes from, doesn't matter as it is who brought you up that is important; but I can also fully understand that some people (including you) would want to know who the real parent is and what their story is, because their story impacts your story. I can get behind that.

Now, I have been doing my family tree for years, and I myself took a DNA test a number of years ago. Have you taken your data and plugged it into the various DNA databases out there to see if there are any familial matches / close matches?

https://www.ancestry.co.uk/dna/
https://www.familysearch.org/home/dna-t ... next-steps
https://www.gedmatch.com/

GEDmatch is the site to use for complete pulling-apart of your chromozonal data, but it is also the most complex because of this (there are videos to watch!). The "basic" run will compare your DNA to everyone else in the database and give you "best matches". You can then reach out to people via email (if provided) to see if they may be family. I would recommend drafting a blanket style email of who you are, and what your family story is (but keep it short) which you can cut n paste to the likely matches. It may be a long-shot, but it's better than nothing!

As for Ancestry/FamilySearch (run by the same people) this starts out with you putting in your family tree as you know it, linking your DNA result in to your profile and it will throw up likely candidates along the way. I've used this back to the 1750s, however it was a relatively straightforward tree.

If you are able to get your mother to do a DNA kit you can add her results into your mix. If you can get your "father" to do one too then you would be able to 100% rule him out - though that's an expensive way to do this so personally I wouldn't bother. If you find your biological father he could take a kit to prove the match and GEDcom would help confirm that match.

I hope this helps. You may already have done all of this - there was a reason you took a DNA kit in the first place after all - if so I hope you take my post as "trying to be helpful". :)

Good luck with the search! Hit me up if you need help/advice.

Sam / Bifford

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Tadhg
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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Tadhg »

Thanks for your comments, Sam.

In addition to 23 and ancestry, I've uploaded my raw DNA data file to Myheritage.com, Livingdna.com and GEDmatch. So far, only distant relatives show up. From what I understand DNA testing is exploding ~ probably due to price decreases, so if my father has/had other children I might see a match someday.

The GEDmatch ancient DNA lines are fantastic.

Tadhg. :-D
Count Rhuveinus - Lejendary Keeper of Castle Franqueforte

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"By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes:" - Macbeth

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Bifford »

Yes, it's become very popular. I still think it's over-priced at £50 a pop, putting it out of my reach to have my parents tested currently.

Regarding the results, they are improving and narrowing down the meanings of specific chromosomes regularly. My chart is always updating. Things can only get better.

Good luck with that new hit turning up! :)

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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by Julian Grimm »

The only big revelation ancestry gave me was that the only way to be more white was to be born in Europe. Seriously I am a catch all of Northern European DNA: England and NW Europe 58%, Scotland 24%, Germanic Europe 8%, Wales 4%
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Re: I'm not Rhuvein anymore . .

Post by maximus »

I'm 1/2 Irish, 1/2 Italian. According to Ancestry I'm 48% Irish, 46% Italian, 4 % Scottish, and 2 % Greek. The Greek I get because the ancient Greeks and then the Byzantines held Southern Italy for hundreds of years. The Scottish I don't get. My Irish folk are from West and SW Ireland, no where near Scotland. Oh well...

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