Clakkity!!

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Inkpot
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Clakkity!!

Post by Inkpot »

A new sporting sensation has flared up within the lands of Aihrde, and believe it or not, we have the goblinoid races to thank for it!

"Clakkity", or "skull-juggling" is a game developed by goblins in which a group of players stands in a circle, each armed with two femurs (or other cylindrical objects roughly two feet in length) called "pickers". The players attempt to juggle a skull (called "the clakkity" in game terms) using the pickers. Instead of a skull, a ceramic ball has been used as the clakkity in more civilized regions. The rules for Clakkity are as follows (with a grin and a nod to Brian Miller for inspiration!):

1. The clakkity is assigned a target number according to its' size and weight (15 on average).

2. Each player gets one "toss" of the clakkity with the pickers (although in more advanced games, three to five tosses are required) before passing it on to the player on their left. Each toss requires a roll of 1d20 + DEX modifier to beat the clakkity's target number.

3. Upon failing the roll, the player has dropped the clakkity and must retrieve it quickly with his pickers and toss it back into play (roll 1d20 -2) before a count of 3 has been reached by the circle. Failing this, the loser must now endure having his bare feet stomped on by the other players in the circle (another variation has the loser hop on one foot (at a -3 penalty to all future rolls during the game) for the remainder of the game, or until he/she loses a toss again).

4. The winner of the game is the player who last the longest without dropping the clakkity in a pre-determined number of tosses.

Local Clakkity leagues are springing up across Aihrde, and it is rumored that a Grand Championship is being prepared in Kayomar.....

Ink
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Post by Treebore »

You just want to be like a plague and spread your sickness, don't you? Come on! Admit it!
Since its 20,000 I suggest "Captain Nemo" as his title. Beyond the obvious connection, he is one who sails on his own terms and ignores those he doesn't agree with...confident in his journey and goals.
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Post by Nym »

Can kobold heads be substituted?
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Post by Inkpot »

Treebore wrote:
You just want to be like a plague and spread your sickness, don't you? Come on! Admit it!

*imitates Stewie Griffen* You will all BOW to me!!

And yes, you can use kobold heads if that's your particular kink, er preference.
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Post by serleran »

Hmm, reminds me of the time I used the Maya bloodsport in my games. I might find a use for this sometime.

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Post by Nym »

Inkpot wrote:
And yes, you can use kobold heads if that's your particular kink, er preference.
Ink

Oh good, cause I seem to always have an overabundance of those lying around.
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Post by miller6 »

Hey, I've got an issue with the use of kobold heads. One of my many personalities just so happens to be a kobold!

Besides, the dog nose makes it harder to keep it aloft. Tends to hook to the side when it spins. Us kobolds aren't particularly well known for having aerodynamic craniums.
If you really must experiment with the use of skulls from other races, I highly recommend trying an elven skull since their noses naturally point upwards.

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Post by miller6 »

Hey, since you added different rules than mine, does that make my Clakkity division the "B" league?

Bummer. My goblins will be sad to hear that they won't make the Good Will games.

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Post by Inkpot »

LOL...check your movement rates, everyone! It's a running gag!!
Seriously though (lol), depending on what one chooses to use as the "clakkity", the CK can adjust the target number accordingly. A kobold's skull (regardless of the bone structure peculiar to that race) would be a tad smaller than a human's skull, thus (in my opinion) making the target number a little higher (catching a larger object on the pickers would be easier than catching a smaller one).

And B League Clakkity is just as viable as A League....after all, little goblin snotlings have to start somewhere, don't they?
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Post by miller6 »

And there's a special olympics version of Clakkity involving goblins with blindfolds...where you make them stand six inches away from each other as they swing at the skull. It's quickly becoming a crowd favorite.
(And we've sunk to new lows).
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Post by Combat_Kyle »

Can we gather a collection and pay Peter B to draw a picture of a game of clakkity? Or have I gone too far?
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Post by Inkpot »

Oh sweet Jeebus, that would just ROCK!! ROTFLMAO!!

I'd chip in!!
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Post by Combat_Kyle »

Me to, is he still selling for $20 buck because I could contribute $. if we get enough contributions we could have him do one in full color, and the goblins on each team could have uniforms.
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Post by Inkpot »

*ahem* Peter? Wanna chime in on this? Please? Before it reaches the coffee mug/poster/mouspad/ladies thong phase?

Hmm....ladies' thong.....

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Post by Combat_Kyle »

Quote:
Before it reaches the coffee mug/poster/mouspad/ladies thong phase?

Ahh the possiblities, Clakkity jerseys, mascots. I think Senor Bones mught be a good one. Or how about this for a mascot "Fracture" ahh yea.
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Post by Rhuvein »

Nym wrote:
Oh good, cause I seem to always have an overabundance of those lying around.

You do? Why? Oh, nevermind, you must be a pack giant rat!
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Clakkity logo

Post by miller6 »

Anyone know where I can order a Clakkity t-shirt?

If Peter's too busy, I'll ask my daughter, Andrea, to do me favor and make us a Clakkity pic. She did my avatar. And hey, my wife, Laura, is a graphic artist so she could make us a cool Clakkity logo. And I could set up a Clakkity website displaying the weekly Clakkity matchups and final scores.

That would set a new all time record for useless rediculous crap thought up by some forum members. Of course, the Clakkity fans demand no less so we can't just leave 'em hangin'.
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Clakkity catastrophe

Post by miller6 »

Okay, since we haven't heard back from Steve regarding the bones we desperately need for Clakkity sports gear, we may just have to go with the kobold skulls and femurs after all. Division B started practicing with them already. However, we're having some problems with the free agents holding out after picking up the Ogre ref. Now every game goes to sudden death.
Also, the stadiums in Division B are substandard goblin construction...could go anytime. But we like to think they'll hold up through the NCA (National Clakkity Association) finals (especially after bribing the coaches to go the full 7 games).

And we're looking at a bid from some evil gnomes to run the concession stands, but the deal is still in the negotiation phase.

Brian Miller

"One goblin down in the bottom of the fourth game. And the pitch is up...skull is low and away...swing and a miss...and the Ogre ref steps in, hitting a perfect game thus far...Woah! He knocked the cover off that one!...Two goblins down in the bottom of the fourth." (CSPN [Clakkity Sports Programming network] Troll Sports Announcer, Hairy Scarry)
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Post by Inkpot »

Oh. Dear. Gods.

*dies laughing*

My girlfriend says she doesn't know whether to envy our imaginations, or just fear us outright....
Ink

P.S. I'd love to see a Clakkity website....LOL
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Post by miller6 »

Inkpot wrote:
Oh. Dear. Gods.

*dies laughing*

My girlfriend says she doesn't know whether to envy our imaginations, or just fear us outright....
Ink

I'd err on the side of caution and go with the fear. Probably best in the long run. You never know, our fragile minds could snap any time.

Tell her it's "theraputic". And besides, your shrink says your getting much better.

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Post by miller6 »

Good news from the world of Clakkity sports! My daughter agreed to make us a really nice pic (but she wants to know what we want for the uniforms) and my wife said okay to coming up with the logo. When they're ready, I'll stick 'em in a web page and post the link.

Meanwhile, we're voting on whether or not to allow metal cleats in the game. My input is only if the cleats are 1" in length or longer and sharpened to a point.

And what about headgear? Do we use any? I think a cracked football helmet worn backwards with two eyeholes punched in the back might be appropriate...for the skull that is. The goblins on the other hand, don't get any gear for their heads.
Also, we've had some problems with tampering with the game as some goblin shamans from the teams that are trailing in the score have taken to animating the skull. As such, we may need to start levying heavy fines or include it in the rules as fair play.

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Post by miller6 »

Here's a sad note...one of my gamers owns a sign printing company (and makes me new battle maps whenever I wear them out). Once the Clakkity logo and pic are done, I'm gonna have him print us up some professional quality stuff (like car-window suction-cup signs and maybe some Clakkity team pennants).

Sound good?

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Post by Inkpot »

LOLOLOLOL!!

This I've gotta see! Signs and penants! LOL

And I'll answer your other questions in numerical order:'

1. Cleets are acceptable in some circles, it is dependent on the referee (and for how much he's been bribed).

2. Headgear. I wouldn't think it'd be neccessary as one's feet are most likely to suffer injury. Of course, one never can be sure when playing with orcs, goblins, hobgoblins, ogres, and the like...

3. Animating the skull is permissable ONLY in advanced games, and even then ONLY by an officially sanctioned mage. Should either team attempt to use magic of any sort during the game, their team will forfeit the game.

We are very, very sick men....

Anyone else have any ideas? This is fun.
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Post by miller6 »

We also need a ruling on "performance enhancers" (giant strength and other potions).

Too many goblins flying around in the game.

We also need a vote on preparing the field with deadly traps.

And are we using grass or artificial turf (green slime)?

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Post by Combat_Kyle »

I think a few hidden spike traps in the field would liven things up a bit. I think performance enhancers would be neat. For example give on team potions of haste, the other giants strength, see what happens. As far as uinforms, here is an idea, why not just have each team choose a paint syle and use body paint. For example, one team could look like the guys in braveheart with the blue paint, the other with the white hand of sauramon, just a thought. Oh and we can't forget the bobbleheads.
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Post by miller6 »

Combat_Kyle wrote:
Oh and we can't forget the bobbleheads.

I leave the bobble-heads up to you guys. I don't have any connections to come up with those.
Spike traps works for me.

We may have to place some restrictions on the polymorph self performance enhancers though. Could get out of control if one team can look just like the members of the other team, right down to their uniforms and all. And immitating the Ogre ref is just right out. Can't have any of that. We Clakkity players have standards to uphold you know!

I still like the green slime as artificial turf. Makes dex checks harder and puts a definite time limit on the game before the players become fertilizer.
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Post by Inkpot »

Well, bear in mind that these guys are just standing around in a circle....there really isn't a "field" so to speak...and as for costumes, I'm sure each particular team would come up with their own name and their own mascots/isignia.

Example teams might include:

Team Picknose (goblins)

Team Toejam (ogres)

Team Bloodshot (the trolls...I mean the trolls in the GAME, not the creators!!! )

You get the idea....
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Post by miller6 »

I think team "Wartz" sounds better for the troll team. The others sound great.

We can axe the green slime for the turf. To many rookies getting injured in training. Hmm...brown mold instead? (Just kidding).

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Post by Inkpot »

Yeah, my team names were just examples.
You know, a large clakkity championship match at the local arena would be a great backdrop for an adventure....heheh

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Post by serleran »

I'm thinking we need to create a board game, in the same sort of vein as Blood Bowl, for this new sensation. What say you?
Can have different types of units, each with variable abilities... oh yeah, I'm seeing it.

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